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If Holy Spirit was in charge of my last relationship, why did it result in fear instead of love?
I am in tears over a recent relationship I thought was holy, but it turns out I was deceived.
I AM NOW AFRAID TO:
1) Trust any teacher of God that they will act in my best interests.
2) Enter into any kind of relationship Holy or otherwise for fear that the Holy Spirit (God) will reject me.
3) Open myself up to a vulnerable state like I did for fear that I will be crushed again.
4) Trust that anyone's guidance including my own is actually the Holy Spirit.
5) Trust that the ACIM principles will be followed by apparent teachers of God.
If the Holy Spirit was in control of this relationship why did it result in fear not love?
Thanks for your email and your little willingness for healing. God Wills Perfect Happiness and the ego is the belief in mysteries and questions and secrets. In Light is everything openly revealed, and thus it must be that to the ego Revelation is fearful. Fear but seems to be about "persons," "places," and "things,” but fear of God's Love is the strange belief that must be exposed and seen as false. Your "relationship" with your brother was a step in facing the fear within, for nothing of this world of images is fearful. Your brief encounter with your brother was a way of bringing to awareness what lies beneath. This fear of God must come up to be released, and the contact with your brother served that Purpose. Healing is the goal of all mind training, and one cannot release what is kept in unawareness.
Hurt and loss seem real only because of the belief in a break in communication. I faced this illusion and with the Guidance of the Holy Spirit came to see that communication from God cannot be broken. No body or worldly event or situation or circumstance can break the Love God offers always. Love must come through the mind to be experienced by the mind, and the only seeming experience of pain results from the belief that Love can be withheld. It cannot. In the world of form "love" and "communication" can seem to be broken, but nothing of the world is true. Forgiveness releases, the ego binds. All seeming "relationships" mirror the need to release the ego until it is apparent that the ego was never real. This points to the Atonement, the awareness that God and Christ are the only real Relationship. Union is of the Christ Mind, Which is Communion—the Communication of Creator and Creation.
Jesus devotes 9 chapters to "special relationships" in ACIM and says that the special love relationship is the ego's most boasted "gift." The undoing of the guilt and fear and pain of specialness is only painful to the ego, which is being undone. Yet you are opening to the awareness that you ARE NOT the ego. You are Holy. The Holy bless and offer only blessing, so nothing can be lost in extending the Self God creates Perfect.
The Holy Spirit leads through the darkness to the Light. The "journey inward" may seem "dark" to the ego, for the ego is being undone and resents and fears each step. I am joined with you in coming through the perceived fear. No "body" can increase fear, yet while you give faith to the ego you will value bodies and the communication from bodies. I share with you a Communication that can never be broken off, for I offer what the Holy Spirit shares with you. This inner blessing is not dependent on words, yet I use them now to encourage you to go through the fear within to the Love that is Still Deeper within.
If the Holy Spirit's Purpose is held firmly as the only goal, I assure you that only Love can be the experience. An "experience" of fear is a Call for Love, a Call to extend what was believed to be lacking. This extension can never be blocked. "Relationships" only reflect belief, and if "a relationship with your brother" seemed to be broken it only reflected the belief that the Relationship with God had been broken. Love is unbreakable and indivisible. Ask if the ego's belief and misperception could ever satisfy your holy mind, and realize You have the Answer.
Do not look to "another" for Guidance. The external "seeking" was the seeming sickness of mind. You have the Truth within our Mind. Seek within and you shall find What is forever true. The ego teaches that relationships begin and end, rejoicing in the former and lamenting the latter. Nothing that is True has a "beginning" or an "end." Glory be to the Living One for creating Love Eternal!!!
I love You forever and ever!