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Is it an ego trap to want a good relationship in hopes of it becoming a holy one?
I would like to talk about the holy relationship. One sometimes tries to have a good relationship in hopes that it will become a holy one. Is that an ego trap?
When you give your relationship over to the Holy Spirit, it may seem to get a lot worse before it gets better. The reason for this is that the Holy Spirit's purpose is very different than the purpose for which the relationship was started. The old purpose was designed to bring about a sense of completion by bodies coming together. That is the ego's definition of a relationship: bodies living together under the same roof. The ego wants the bodies together but the minds separate. The ego bases relationships on common interests in the world and teaches that the more common interests, the better the relationship will be; what the world calls having a good match. And even though these relationships may seem good at the beginning, the unconscious anger and hatred will soon surface. Each person wants the other to change and become more like itself. And you can see that you have a bargain on your hands, as if a compromise must be reached. In this world compromise seems like a good thing, but Jesus teaches in "A Course In Miracles" that "Salvation is no compromise of any kind."
The Holy Spirit's purpose sees what is most helpful for everyone. No one wins and no one loses. In the ego's purpose there are always winners and losers. The ego only knows gain and loss. To the ego there is only so much love to go around, so love seems very special and only to be given to certain persons. There is a section in the Course about the healed relationship. It says that after the Holy Spirit is invited into a relationship, both people are usually "appalled" because the new purpose is so different from the old one. The new purpose asks that nothing be kept hidden from one another, which is a reflection of the idea that nothing be kept hidden from the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit cannot take anything from your mind unless it is voluntarily given over. So opening to holy relationship requires much willingness, because it will seem to really rock the boat. It is Jesus calling you out of the world, and the ego or the world seems to react and says,”Just where do you think you are going?" But the more you gain confidence in listening to the Holy Spirit, you see no one is being left behind and you are simply opening your mind to include everyone and reject no one. This is beautiful!
When you establish a holy relationship with someone who doesn't study the Course, does one talk about and share one's inner process of working with the Course or just try to demonstrate it through the changes that are happening within?
It is always helpful to share what you are going through, but you must let Jesus direct you as to where to do this sharing. You are getting in touch with being a miracle worker, but you must give up control on where you think that miracles must be bestowed. Jesus said in the Bible that those who have ears will hear. You will find it very frustrating if you try to share these inner experiences with those who are not ready to hear them.
As you open to being a miracle worker, the Holy Spirit will guide you to others and will guide others to you. These will be opportunities to share your new purpose. You cannot even assume that you must share this purpose with your partner. This is the meaning of the teaching in the Bible, that father will be turned against son and mother against daughter, for My Name's sake. The Christ energy is like a vibration. As this vibration becomes stronger and stronger, and as you are willing to open your mind, many new witnesses will come to your mind. As I followed the Holy Spirit's direction, I have traveled many, many miles for the last thirty years and met thousands of my brothers and sisters that are hungry to awaken. It is as if the purpose has orchestrated my life for me to experience the joy in my heart. We all start with biological families and partners, but as the love in our heart grows stronger and stronger, our circle of family and friends grows larger. We meet these people based on our desire to give. We are not looking to get something from them. The blessing comes from sharing the joy, not from receiving anything material. It is as if we spread many seeds, not looking where they land or if they seem to germinate and flower. The joy is in just flinging the seeds!