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How do I release feelings of betrayal, breaking of vows, and hurtful threats from my ex-husband?
Question: I am having difficulty coming to peace with my husband leaving my son, who is nine years old, and then going off with another woman who he is married to now, after our divorce. In the beginning, my mantra was, “I choose Peace instead of this” and I was handling it for a while. Then I just fell apart, and I feel more stable now, but still have stuff I know I need to let go of. Can you give me a way to let go of my ego's hold of his betrayal, deception, breaking of vows, and hurtful threats? I realize the deeper the attachment the letting go is deeper.
Answer: Aligning with the ego in any regard always invites the illusion of hurt to make itself at home in an illusion of self. Hurt always comes from the belief that something of the world can bring lasting peace and happiness or take it away. Divorce and marriage are terms that refer to separation and union respectively. True Union is the Christ Mind in Union with the Mind of God and is literally All That Is, far beyond the illusion of time-space. Think of forgiveness as representing Union on earth and special relationships as representing Hell on earth. Christ devotes 9 chapters (end of 15–beginning of 24) in "A Course in Miracles" (ACIM) to learn to distinguish between the ego's purpose for relationship and the Holy Spirit's Purpose. The ego sponsors special relationships to maintain itself, and the Holy Spirit offers the holy relationship as a safe substitute for what the ego made. Betrayal, deception, breaking of vows, and hurtful threats are experiences of the special love relationship and the desire for some body outside of mind to fulfill and make oneself whole. Trust that when one door seems to close another opportunity to forgive is presented.
What you have written reflects the way the Awakening seems to go: "I realize the deeper the attachment the letting go is deeper." The Holy Spirit would have you realize that peace and happiness and love and joy and freedom are not circumstance dependent. Ego attachment will never satisfy, and with each letting go, the awareness of the Truth within comes closer. Be happy for the release of attachment, for you shall know the Truth and in Truth You are free as the Christ. Teach this in every seeming situation, in countless opportunities, and the realization will dawn—I am still as God created Me. Love does not possess. Love has no object. These are the simple lessons Salvation teaches, for Divine Love knows Eternity and has no limits or conditions on Its Giving and Receiving.
Be grateful for every emotion and belief that is flushed up, for nothing real veils the Love of God. As the ego is exposed it becomes apparent that the special relationship offers nothing and the holy relationship always offers a reflection of the Kingdom of Heaven. Aspire only to holy relationship and pray to release all grievances that block the Light from awareness. Offer this blessing to everyone, including your former husband, and you will feel the blessing in your heart. Forgiveness is always a gift to our Self for it releases the illusions of an ego self that could never be.