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SearchWhy hasn't the ego disappeared yet, even though in my meditation/contemplation practice I can clearly see that separation from God is impossible?
Question:
I'd like you to comment on my "style" of contemplation/meditation, and then on a specific question.
I start simply by saying,”Holy Spirit" and almost always the first thought is "rest in stillness and silence" or something similar. Then, a series of three things begin to happen, with pauses of silence in between:
1. I contemplate the holiness of "I"—the "I" that is utterly uninvolved with my ego, the "I" that doesn't identify itself as "I am Ben" but as "I am I."
2. As I do this contemplation, it is periodically interrupted with the intrusion of an ego thought of some kind and when this happens I "translate" the erroneous thought to the Truth that the error was a lie about. This has so far been very easy and only takes a few seconds, after which I return to contemplating "I" in silence.
3. It's occurred to me several times that truly egoless "I" is 100% ONE and that there are as yet unknown or denied ego beliefs that are blocking my full experience of this. I have thought to myself, "I'm just clipping off limbs from this tree (ego)”; let me get to the root of the ego, and the whole tree will meet its end, including the unknown or denied "limbs."
If I'm not mistaken, the root of the ego is the belief that separation from God is possible, immediately followed by the belief that separation from God has succeeded (in the form of ego). Well, this is very easy because it is absolutely clear that God is Truth and separation from Truth by definition would be a non-Truth, and hence not exist. Then and there I can decide to quit believing in the existence of something that doesn't exist. Shouldn't the ego dissolve into the nothingness from whence it came at that point? Why doesn't the whole ego just disappear?
Answer:
The ego does seem to dissolve or disappear when the temptation to project the belief in separation is no more. This is one's sole responsibility–to make absolutely no attempt to project responsibility for the ego and thus accept completely the Correction for the ego that the Holy Spirit offers. Your contemplation practice is aimed at just this. You are correct that your practice seems as if you are clipping off the limbs of the ego tree. This is how it will seem as long as there is a belief that the one error is many. To release the illusion of many is to see that there can never be a hierarchy of illusions or preferences among illusions. Without a preference, the truth is revealed exactly as it is. And this experience has brought an end to all questions, for Certainty is far beyond a shadow of doubt.
Workbook Lesson 79 mirrors the idea that before the ego will seem to disappear; the "problem" must be recognized exactly as it is (in mind)—not as it seems to be (specific in form). All spiritual practice aims at this one recognition, and linear time was made to deny this one simple recognition. Problems are not specific, though that is how they seem to the sleeping mind. The Correction sees that all the problems were the same, and thus are they gone all together. Without protection you will see that they have gone, for they were all the same. Make no exceptions in your transfer of training, and you will see that truth has no exceptions.
Peace of mind is the proof that illusion has gone. Desire the experience wholly, and the experience is holy. The practice—or the seeking—is actually the attempt to place the experience in the future. Yet the experience of Enlightenment is immediate. Anything which seems to deny this immediacy is only an opportunity for Atonement or complete forgiveness. Hope is potential. Enlightenment is actual. Hope beckons a bright future. Enlightenment rests content in the Eternal Present. Hope offers anticipation. Enlightenment IS what Enlightenment offers.
I am joined with you in making no exceptions to the truth, for there are none. Love is without an opposite and Joy is unlimited Being.
Love,
David