Allow yourself to feel what you feel without judging it. Don’t conclude anything about your identity as a result. The ego wants you to feel guilty. What is unresolved beneath the surface in your mind will come up. Then you can see it and release it. You release the guilt and fear. Watch for thoughts of vengeance and remember that no defense is the best defense. You don’t need protection; the one you are trying to protect is not real. Hang with the forgiveness and healing. It is OK to feel a lot of feelings. Allow yourself to feel what you feel without judging it. There may be passing clouds. Non-judgment is a gift. Don’t conclude anything about your identity as a result. Suicide is the conclusion that your life is worthless. It doesn’t bring an end. The ego laughs at suicide and pursues you beyond the grave. Just let the feelings come and go, release them. Forgiveness is the way out of strife and unhappiness.