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My meditations have reduced to mere "daydreaming sessions". How can I move through this "dark night of the soul"?
I wanted to write and tell you I very much enjoyed my trip to see you. I pray daily for guidance and direction, but sometimes I just don't know how anything can change. I feel as if I have been in that so called "dark night of the soul" for half of my lifetime. It seems I have been so close to the change that if it hasn't happened by now, I don't know what will ever cause it to happen. And there are moments when I feel that heaviness inside me like a dead weight and I wish I could free myself of it, but it hangs on. My meditations have been completely worthless now for about two weeks. They seemed much deeper when I started in early July and have now reduced themselves to nothing more than daydreaming sessions. Thanks again for everything. I hope that I will get the chance to share more with you in the not too distant future.
Thank you so much for writing and for coming to visit. It has been a blessing to me. I am so grateful that God brought us together and I am honored each time you visit. I have met very few people that are as sincere and open as you are, and your willingness to experience inner peace has carried you farther inward toward the Light than you are aware. I would not be so discouraged by the "daydreaming" during meditation. This will all fade away when you are ready. Readiness precedes mastery, yet readiness is not something that can be forced or rushed and you have a lot that is being undone in the mind at this time. Unconscious beliefs are the thick cobwebs that produce the anxiety and heaviness, and they must be exposed and released for there to be a lasting experience of peace and contentment. Your strength has been your willingness to question and look deeply at what you believe. This willingness has uncovered the meaninglessness of the ego's world, and there has been disillusionment with the discovery that the past has brought no Joy. The past cannot hold you back or hinder your advancement unless you let it. You have done nothing wrong that can hide your Pure Innocence. Our shared Purpose in God's Love is the Source of glee that carries us beyond the darkness to the Light.
Your heart is drawn to reading and pondering and questioning. How glorious! Allow yourself to engage in this more fully than you ever have before. The depths of Stillness are ever Present, yet resistance must dissolve away to be fully aware of Divine Silence. You have made a decision, deep inside, to give the mind permission to Awaken from the dream of limits and boundaries. Now events and encounters are all orchestrated toward that Purpose. You have allowed your mind to hear God's Call, yet unlike most you are actually approaching the point of answering the Call and immersing into our Purpose. You have a function to fulfill. The Purpose for your life is what you have been searching for, yet this Purpose is a State of Mind and not a specific form. It is unlike anything that seemed to come before because it is Given and not made or invented.
Our times together have flown by quickly. For me it all seems like a Homecoming. I meet with those I feel I have known forever and am blessed by the joining in Purpose. I rejoice that the dawn of Awakening is at hand! People from all over the world have shown up in my experience to bring witness to my heart's deepest desire. And my heart is overflowing with gratitude. I am so in love with you, and my deepest prayer is that you experience the love I feel. It is our Self Love and is so brilliant and radiant that all doubts and fears and anxieties must vanish in Its Presence. Your inner Voice told you that you needed nothing when you came to visit. If you can feel a glimmering of the Divine Love we share, trust it. Go into that glimmering. Let that spark ignite and you will end the "dark night of the soul" for the entire cosmos, forever.
I am with you every step of the way! We travel on the Selfsame road and walk hand in hand. There is nothing that we cannot expose and look upon together. For the whole universe looks to our release as its own. As I write this email the back room of the house is being cleared out. I see you in my mind's eye as perfectly free and unhindered. I see you as a witness to what is true right now. It may seem as if what appears to be unfolding is predestined, and the Purpose we share is truly inevitable and happily unavoidable. I pray that you will allow yourself to accept the happiness and love I feel for you.
You are always in my thoughts and prayers. You are always welcome. I am with you always. Thanks for your willingness and devotion to Awakening and your willingness to pour out all your doubts and heaviness and anxiety. They do not have a place in your holy mind, and your willingness to share them is your willingness to not protect them. Without protection, they will vanish.