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What is the best attitude to adopt when fear comes up in order to not repress it nor get caught in it?
I was very afraid when I started to read ACIM. It brought to the surface some unhappy episodes of my past. I "went back" to an earlier level of consciousness, which brought up many fears that evidently were buried. I am now at Workbook Lesson #34. I can take refuge in the peace of my mind and bad thoughts or fears disappear instantly, but is it dangerous to repress them? Which is the right attitude whenever fear or thoughts disturb the calm waters of the mind?
Your experience is that of the inward journey, of going through the darkness to the Light. It is always helpful to take instant refuge in the experience of peace, and this is natural. I am joined with you in the utter simplicity of this. You have come very, very far in being able to experience the ease and naturalness of choosing peace. Fear need never be embraced or analyzed or examined, for fear only need be allowed to surface and then immediately released. When fears seem to arise as a contrast to inner peace, the opportunity to choose peace is the ever-available decision. It is always this simple, regardless of the complexities that the ego would offer and interpose. A decision is a conclusion of everything that is believed, and the inward journey is indeed a journey through the unconscious or unwatched mind and the unveiling of false belief. In this sense, Truth is approached through negating the ego by seeing the entirety of its falseness. Initially, in training the mind to release the ego forever, it seems that not all decisions are conscious. It is natural to release fear, and unnatural to repress or hide or protect it through projection. Repression will always have a sense of trying to protect awareness. It is wonderful that you are open to the realization that there is never anything to hide or protect, for you are not vulnerable in the least. You are safely being carried inward to peace Eternal.
In using the ACIM workbook you are training your mind to realize the unreality of all past and future thoughts. Some of them still seem like good or pleasant thoughts and others seem as bad or fearful thoughts, yet the Awakening is recognizing that all these thoughts are merely unreal. Past and future thoughts are "personality self/world judgments," and though some seem positive and some negative, they are actually the same in their unreality. In this sense good judgments such as "likes" and compliments are identical to bad judgments such as dislikes and criticisms. Judgment seems to be on a continuum and the ego would have you keep some judgments and eliminate others. The Spirit illuminates the awareness that the ENTIRE continuum is unreal and therefore cannot be divided or seen as partially true. This realization seems to require trust, for the ego has convinced the mind that judgment is necessary for survival. Yet the concept of survival is always personality-related, for the Universal Spirit simply Is and transcends all self- concepts. Trust in Spirit is letting go of the meaning that was assigned to past and future thoughts, which are really the same.
Fear arising means you are drawing close to Love, calling on Love to return to awareness. Love, like a giant iceberg deep within (a massive sheet of Light) is pushing everything unlike ItSelf up into awareness, that error may be released. It is impossible, and therefore finally intolerable, to attempt to hold in mind two completely irreconcilable thought systems—love and fear. Everything that seems to occur has as its Purpose the recognition of the Love that had been denied from awareness. You are beginning to realize that there is NOTHING to protect or hide. Protection is always a defense mechanism, yet Spirit remains forever invulnerable for Spirit cannot be hurt. The recognition of Self as Spirit is the recognition that You are Safe in God, never in danger, and beyond the possibility of the error of harm.
There is never a need to go back "to an earlier level of consciousness," for the journey without distance is almost fully exposed as an illusion. It was the illusion of a journey. How could there be a journey to Who One already is? Where could One "go,” Being the very Eternal Meaning of Life ItSelf? The self that seemed to search was merely the attempt to deny the Forever True. Deep within is the awareness that peace is natural and fear is the stranger. You are perfect just as You are. Make no attempt to "handle" the ego. Just keep in mind that there is never anything to protect. This way the ego is exposed and released. If you make no attempt to protect the ego you will discover how easily it vanishes. This is the trust in Spirit that undoes the belief in an "opposite" to Love. Love is truly all there is.
Love & Blessings,