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SearchHow do I deal with an abusive friend at school? (From a 13-year old.)
Question:
This year has been absolutely terrible for me—there's been so much I just don't know where to start. I have had an abusive friend for about three years now. She has been physically and mentally abusive to me, which has made me pretty unstable. I believe that I am a warm and caring person who tries to understand everyone, and even THAT she makes fun of. It's completely frustrating the way she plays this game-teasing with me one minute and turning around and showing the world a nice girl who couldn't hurt a fly. I'm sorry that this letter is pretty stupid David, but I had to tell someone.
Answer:
Thanks for sharing what is running through your mind. It may not seem like it for you, but at 13 years old you will be experiencing a fast track in spiritual awakening if you are able to apply these ideas. People-pleasing is a favorite ego device for inducing guilt and emotional pain. For the ego "likes" and "dislikes,” "friends" and "enemies" are the thoughts that occupy the mind. Your "abusive friend" is acting out the attack thoughts that arise in awareness, and through the ego's lens she seems to be attacking you. This is truly a Call for Love, and the only way to be consistently aware of the love within your mind is to recognize these Calls for Love and extend Love. It is as if your friend were saying from deep inside: "Please teach me, please remind me who I really am." Whenever you are offended by anyone it is an opportunity to pluck the offense from your mind and kiss it good-bye. The temptation to blame can seem very intense when the underlying motivation is to be liked and accepted. Peer pressure reflects the "looking for acceptance" that is characteristic of the ego's drive to seek outside for validation and approval and worth. The journey inward shows that this feeling of lack, and the need to be accepted, is based in a deep-seated feeling of unworthiness.
You are receiving your training in miracle-working very early in your life. Already the world is being shaken at its foundation, which is always the ego in the mind. Be gentle with yourself as you walk through each day. You have such a light to share with everyone you meet, and the ego cannot distract you from this, unless you choose to let it. Don't buy the bait of attack, for when you come back within you will feel a calmness that can neither attack or be attacked. Rest in this calmness and return to it as often as you can.
I am joined with you every step of the way. Think of peace and know that I am with you in every situation.
Love overflowing,
David