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How can I release childhood memories of sexual abuse?
In my meditative state I sometimes am drawn to do forgiveness exercises using the lesson "God is the love in which I forgive ______ .” In these exercises my grandfather and uncle have come up in relation to sexual abuse. I proceed as usual in forgiving them and myself. I have no specific memories of abuse. I also have a memory of around 12 years old when I witnessed my brother and his friends having sexual relations with a young girl, and a vague memory of some sexual contact with my sister, probably at about 8 years old.
Is there anything specific I can do about these memories? How can I work in removing these blocks to love's presence?
Sexual attraction and sexual abuse seem very different to the mind asleep and dreaming, and to the ego, attraction is often judged as positive and abuse as negative. Yet anything that is used to reinforce the "reality" of the body in awareness is an attempt to deny the Reality of Spirit. Memories are interpretations from the past that are called forth and experienced as if they are still present. Past associations can seem to offer pleasure or pain, and the sameness of these seemingly different experiences must be recognized before they can be released as one error.
In forgiveness the misperception of abuse is gone, for there is no longer a belief in opposites. The perception of a grievance requires a victim and a victimizer, and this perception forgiveness cannot perceive. The projection of attack thoughts produced the illusory interpretation of abuse. Once the projection is seen as the attempt to keep the attack thoughts, this defense will no longer seem helpful. Peace comes from the release of attack thoughts, and thus all ego attempts to repress or project attack thoughts are only ways of blocking inner peace from awareness.
There is a Perspective of the body and world that offers only blessings. This is holy relationship. The body is seen as a symbol of communication and has no value in and of itself. What is the body for? "Does it serve the Light?" is the only helpful question in any situation in which the thought of bodies has entered. Let the Spirit smile and laugh and hug through the body, and you will see the body in the Light of forgiveness. In this Light there is neither attraction or repulsion, for what is wholly neutral can merely serve the One Who brings healing. In this Purpose is the experience of Joy. Joy is ever fulfilling and offers the Perspective that all things work together for good.