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How can I transcend my fear of being penniless and a burden to my daughter?
Question: I am sober now nine years. I am very aware of the awakening process that began at that time, and since beginning ACIM and becoming dedicated to the Truth, I have had so many of my ego thoughts just disappear. Meanwhile, I have been able to support myself financially, but at what cost? I am tired all the time—I do things I don't want to do and yet I'm still afraid to do nothing. To just be. I don't want to stay at this job much longer, but I am afraid that if I leave, ”others" will say I'm forever running, never satisfied, always moving from one job to the other, I am so irresponsible and lazy, who does she think she is? You can't just up and leave a job that others would love to have?
I am committed to Joy and happiness and abundance and Love. I want that more than anything. The fear of being penniless and a burden to my daughter is what keeps me stuck I think.
Answer: Thanks for your devotion to Awakening. As you progress inward it will be more and more evident that you are happily becoming God-dependent. This is the meaning of "Except ye become as little children ye cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven." Infants are completely dependent on their parents for survival in this world. Likewise, one must be completely dependent on the Holy Spirit to remember the Christ Self and God's Love. As you follow the Voice for God within, the doubt thoughts will continue to seem to dissolve, and your apparent "needs" as you serve the Plan will be handled miraculously. Now is a time of deepening in our shared Purpose, for this depth is required to take the steps that will surely follow. Be gentle and kind and nurture the Awakening of the mind by addressing whatever is placed before you. Let the tomorrow take care of tomorrow. Concerns and worries about the future are never prudent or practical, for they are always based on the past.
Ease your way into Divine Providence by accepting the Peace within, and watch how effortlessly and miraculously everything is handled for you by the Holy Spirit. You are a messenger of God's Love and God's Messengers are worth their keep while they serve the Holy Spirit's Purpose. Like many, you will benefit from witnesses of being about the Holy Spirit's Purpose. You will seem to take on a lofty function as a miracle worker, for you have been Called by the Holy Spirit to this holy function. The many "doings" on which you will be sent will bring with them much Joy. And these miracles will convince your mind that the "laws" of the world it seemed to believe in and serve were never real. Your "story" will be miraculous, and then you will see that you are far more than any story that ever seemed to be. You are the One!
I am joined with you in Purpose and rejoice with you as the doubt thoughts disappear from your awareness. They will all disappear. All Glory to the One Who creates Perfectly and Eternally!!!