Search in this category
SearchI hate myself and want to die but am afraid of death... please help!
Question:
I just seem to be sinking deeper and deeper into anger and self-hatred, despite all my intensive spiritual work over the last 17 years. All my attempts to eliminate or transcend or accept my ego have been in vain. All my attempts to transform spiritually are a total failure. All the paths I have tried are a total failure. My anger at life is so intense I wonder how I don't explode or burn up at times. It's all so cruel, so harsh and I’m so vulnerable. It is the fact that "death is a false belief" that I find most disturbing—no death means to me no guaranteed eternal escape from this hell.
Answer:
You are in my prayers. I want you to know that you are loved and I am with you always. The ego has no power, and together we shall see its nothingness. Forgiveness and release are the same. I will always witness to the truth in you, and error is gone in the light of truth. Death is a false belief and can gladly be released, for spirit cannot die and you are spirit. Let us release every erroneous thought, and rest in the peace of God. What I personally experienced is that illusions seemed very, very disturbing until I simply saw them for what they were. The fact of Love, buried under layers of illusion, is a Joy to uncover and recognize. Illusions seem to disturb for awhile until they are forgiven or released. I am joined with you in forgiving what never was and only seemed to be.
Blessings and Peace,
David