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Should I be trying to disect the ego emotions rising to the surface, or is it really all the same?
Question: This ACIM curriculum makes sense down to the depths of my heart and soul. It brings all my searching to an end and centers it within myself. But here I am, the emotional yo-yo. Can you tell me, how do I know what specific negative thought is being brought up in my consciousness? Is it even specifics at all? Or is it just a general negative illusion? Should I be trying to dissect it? Or should I just let it flow out? Thank you!
Answer: It is a Joy to hear from you! I am joined with you in this walk of faith and appreciate you opening up and sharing your thoughts. The emotions surfacing for you do not have anything to do with specifics or specific "aspects" of mind, but rather the unconscious belief in specifics. This belief is being undone. Christ reminds in ACIM:
"Complete abstraction is the natural condition of the mind. But part of it is now unnatural. It does not look on everything as one. It sees instead but fragments of the whole, for only thus could it invent the partial world you see. The purpose of all seeing is to show you what you wish to see. All hearing but brings to your mind the sounds it wants to hear.
Thus were specifics made. And now it is specifics we must use in practicing. We give them to the Holy Spirit, that He may employ them for a purpose which is different from the one we gave to them. Yet He can use but what we made, to teach us from a different point of view, so we can see a different use in everything." (W-161.3)
It is helpful to allow what has been repressed and pushed out of awareness to surface so it can be released. At times the disturbing emotions will seem general and other times they will seem to have a specific reference—this does not matter. Just let it flow. The ego belief that made and IS the world of specifics is being exposed, for you are asking that it be released. The Abstract Light of Christ is still deeper within, beneath the belief in separation from God.
The ego can seem to be a tangled web of beliefs, yet it is all one error—the belief that Christ could be separate from God. As a belief in separation and fragmentation, the ego seems to have fragmented itself into many selves and many beliefs. This is not so. Illusions are one. This world is the belief that something can happen to the Son of God against His Will. And thus it seems as if there are causes "in the world" (people, places, things, events, circumstances and situations) that can bring pleasures and pains, happiness and sadness, love and fear. This is not so. The Holy Spirit offers a complete reversal of thought (from world as cause, to mind as cause) and this reversal is already accomplished. The acceptance of this reversal is the Atonement.
The seeming emotional roller coaster ride of emotions with shifts in consciousness can indeed seem like a yo-yo. It is important to remember that you are asked to release all specific judgments, or all judgment of "specifics." The Holy Spirit's Perspective is the only "Judgment" that is wholly kind, for it simply sees the false as false. Non-judgment is the Correction called Atonement, for what is one tapestry cannot be divided or fragmented. This Perspective reflects the Wholeness of Abstract Love & Light, Which is Reality. God did not create a Child to "judge,” for there is nothing to judge between in Perfect Oneness. So it does not matter what seems to rise into awareness during Awakening - what is important is the release of whatever arises. Thus is the ego undone, for in Truth it does not exist and never could "do" anything. You but seem to be cleaning the mirror of mind, imagining that what is over and gone is still in mind. The past cannot dictate your emotions unless you give it the power to do so. Do not cling to past associations, and experience that you are already free. Nothing of the past has any value, for in the present moment is our Perfection. We have been Called out of the thinking of the world, for only Heaven is our Home.
The seeming "yo-yo" experience is the belief in compromise. Yet it is impossible to serve two masters and it is impossible to see two worlds. The only meaningful use of time is to release the belief in linear time, for Eternity and time cannot co-exist. Time is specific and appears to have increments of measurement. Eternity is Abstract, Infinite, and cannot be "measured." It dawns in awareness that time is the grievance to be forgiven. Time is the unquestioned premise of this world. Time is the assumption that seems to bring confusion and conflict, until the assumption is questioned and raised to Light.
Be not concerned about where or what you seem to be, for now we have joined in a Purpose of Awakening. The Holy Spirit will Guide you very specifically as long as the belief in specifics persists in awareness. Thanks for your devotion to Awakening!
I love You forever and ever, David