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I'm feeling like two people... how can I stay in the experience of Love?
Recently I have felt my heart open and I am now sometimes receiving divine love. It flows through me when I awaken, as I fall asleep, and I bathe in a feeling of joy and bliss. My mind sometimes battles it though, bringing up past fear and anxiety. This feels like I am two people, and it gets difficult at times. What can I do to stay in the love?
Thanks for opening your heart and sharing your experiences. It can seem like a battle and a swinging back and forth in emotions until all investment has been withdrawn from the ego. The ego is a decision, and as long as this decision has been given even the least bit of value or allure, the flip-flopping between love and fear, sanity and insanity, seems to persist in awareness. Realize that the ego is constantly being undone or unraveled, and the ego interprets its undoing as fearful. You, however, are not being undone - for You are Pure Love, Pure Spirit. The ego seems to resist the approach of Light, as if the Light was its death. Yet the ego is the investment in death, and once the clouds of fear have been passed through, there You are - the Oneness of Pure Love! To stay in Love, so to speak, requires only the growing willingness to not hide or protect any fearful thoughts which arise in consciousness. Let the fear arise, for it has long been kept out of awareness and must arise that it may be released forever. The ego wants to offer the bait of a battle, because that is how it perpetuates the illusion of conflict and fear. Yet there is nothing to fight and only an illusion to forgive or look past. Our Spirit is beyond the possibility of a battle, for our Oneness and Love rest in the Heart of God. Truth does not fight against illusion; illusions only seem to battle with illusions. Our Identity in God is no illusion, and Reality needs no defense. With faith all scraps of fear rise into awareness and are looked upon with the Holy Spirit and seen for their nothingness.
In Awakening, the split mind—or the mind which tries to serve two masters— comes up into awareness. As this occurs, it can feel as if one has a "split personality" of love and fear. Divine Love transcends the illusory aspects of the self-concept, or the ego-image that was made to cover over and substitute for the Real Love deep within. The "good" aspects of the mask or persona are as illusory as the "fearful" aspects, because illusions are all just one error: the belief that God's Love can have an "opposite." God and Christ are unopposed,for Love has no "enemy" or "opposition." Be grateful, therefore, when the illusion of fear seems to rise into awareness—and do not attempt to battle or repress or distract away from the fear. See that the fear which had been denied from awareness, the fear that seemed to block the Light of Love, is presenting itself again so it may be forgiven forever. Look at the fear with the Holy Spirit and see the nothingness of the fear. Correctly perceived fear is a Call for Love, and as this is acknowledged you are Answered in Love. Love is knocking at the door of consciousness, asking that all self-imposed barriers to the remembrance of God be released. Be happy that the Awakening is occurring through your willingness and readiness, for nothing more is asked of you. Fear has run out of time and has nowhere to hide. Fear used time to conceal the wish to separate, yet under the Holy Spirit's direction time is neutralized and used for miracles that collapse time and show its meaninglessness.
The unconscious was the belief in fear. Fear made the dream of the world seem real. As unconscious belief is raised to the Light and disappears, the experience which remains is being fully conscious, alert, and aware of dreaming a happy dream of non-judgment. This is the Perspective of the Holy Spirit and awareness of dreaming means you are no longer at the mercy of dream figures or dreams of any kind. You are having the dream; the dream is not having you. You are having the dream and there is nothing outside one whole mind, illuminated by the Light of the Holy Spirit. A happy dream has come to take the place of the dream of judgment, and so the fear has gone and never was. The mirror of mind is clean and clear and reflects the Light of God, for there is nothing to block the Pure Love of Heaven.
I love You forever and ever Precious One, for You are my Self. Our strength is the Love within, and this world can offer nothing to delay the Awakening to Pure Love. I rejoice in our Oneness! All Glory to God for creating All as Pure Oneness and Love!