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How do I get through the fear of high blood pressure and my depression enough to just turn it all over to God?
Please help me get through the fear of high blood pressure and medication. I am obsessed with this condition, and I do not know why. I do not have the courage to just turn it over to God. What is there in me that will not trust enough and be able to rest in my divinity?
Thanks for writing, and for reaching inward for an experience that is our Natural Inheritance: Rest in God. Physical symptoms reflect mental identity confusion, and identity confusion can seem stressful. The body self and world were an Identity substitute, made to take the place of Oneness and Love. As a further substitution the ego sponsored the belief that physical "life" and "health" were positive goals worth striving for. Peace of mind is the only worthy goal of your attentiveness and mind watching and questioning.
An obsession with a condition of the body is a distraction from going deeper, looking within, and questioning all underlying assumptions about the nature of self and reality. The cloud of depression arises from the sense of being deprived of something that you want and do not have. Only false belief and decisions seem to deprive the sleeping mind, and you have the strength within to let these apparitions go forever. Every symptom is ego-selected to reinforce the belief in separation and hide from the Light within, which the sleeping mind believes it has left. A dependency on medication is a reflection of the belief that there is a physical problem which requires a physical solution or a series of physical "fixes." The underpinnings of this apparent "cycle of illusion" is the belief in lack and unworthiness. You are worthy as a Child of God, because our Identity in God is All worth. You are worthy of every seeming step that is taken toward healing the mind. You are worthy of our Divine Rest and Comfort because God created Spirit in a State of Eternal Rest and this is Natural. It is ours for the acceptance.
You can trust the Spirit within. The ego has no sense of trust in anything and it is the ego that doubts and judges and strives to stay alive and well as a “body." You are not the ego. The Spirit within is effortlessly Alive and needs no thing to support the Aliveness of Being. Relax and be still, and allow your awareness to sink below the fear of illness and restrictions of any kind. There is a state within that offers peace and rest. I will meet you there.
When the fear arises in awareness remember that high blood pressure and medication are as neutral as the body. Remember that medicine is a temporary way that you have chosen to reduce your fear, and now you are asking for a miracle. You are asking for another way of looking upon the entire world. As consciousness is loosened from the ego belief that made it, the mind soars beyond all sense of need. Let the Holy Spirit Guide you step by step and the seeming need for medication along with the seeming needs of the body will fade from awareness. You have a Purpose to fulfill that will enable you to forget the past and abide in the Present. You are created in Joy, and your function with regard to this world is to reflect that Joy. Nothing else matters. Nothing else is worthy of your Holy Mind.
I love You forever and ever,