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Feeling loneliness, total failure, and losing hope in all things spiritual... please help!
Question: I am burdened with a crushing sense of loneliness and inadequacy, and my life is a picture of never-ending poverty and isolation, failure and guilt and fear. I know all too well just how hopeless my desires are since they are based on the very lack which prevents them from ever being fulfilled. Of course, if the lack were resolved and I did feel connected and at one and loved, then I wouldn't need worldly substitutes, but that just seems impossible. Something in me hangs on to the idea that there must be a better way, but I am utterly at a loss.
Answer: The ego judges your experiences as failure, yet still the Inner Wisdom comes shining through as evident in the following words: "I know all too well just how hopeless my desires are since they are based on the very lack which prevents them from ever being fulfilled. Of course if the lack were resolved and I did feel connected and at one and loved then I wouldn't need worldly substitutes..."
You hang on to the idea that there must be a better way, and there is. What the ego judges as "loss" is truly gain, for the world is backward and upside down. What the ego judges as "failure" is truly success. The ego seems to offer substitutes for Reality and seems to thrive on its relationship to its thoughts, but illusions have no Reality and the ego is not real. It is not wise to identify with an illusion and you need not do so. As it dawns that the ego has nothing to offer, there is no need to follow its advice or seek after its substitutes.
The ego's self-concept seems to be crumbling for you, and now the Spirit offers forgiveness as its replacement. Is this not an exchange you would gladly make if you realized it offers only happiness and fulfillment? Spiritual seeking ends in finding Stillness, for in Stillness there is nothing to seek after. To the ego Stillness is death, yet you can knock on the door of Stillness and It will open. You are Spirit, and the Beauty and Glory God created as One - forever.
Vision is a replacement for every misperception. The body’s eyes and ears see not and hear not. Do not accept false witnesses that would deny the Glory of the Eternal Spirit. You are not a failure, Beloved One. Trials are but lessons repeated, so mistakes about time may be released forever. The ego judges Awakening as cruel, for it feels threatened by Reality. Reality has no opposite. The only question which seems to remain is one of identity. The Self which God created as One remains invulnerable. The attraction of Love leaves Awakening inevitable and entirely unavoidable. This is the Good News of the Gospel.
I Love You, David