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SearchHow can I transcend my self-concept as a good/bad mother?
Question:
I'm writing to ask for your feedback on my dance with the illusion of good/bad mother. My 22-year-old daughter is coming to live with us for six weeks; it’s my opportunity to face my guilt/fear on a daily basis and bring to the light some deeply held beliefs for release. I think of her as being too loud, too irresponsible, too messy, too everything, and it may be my fault. I could use some words of wisdom from you. Thanks!
Answer:
Yes, you are getting a close look at the beliefs and trains of thought you still hold dear and must release. You are much more than a "mother" (good or bad), and during the next six weeks your mind will be shown that this is so. Your responsibility now is to be peaceful and to extend peace. You have a six-week experiment of unlearning at hand, and this can offer you great insight and release. Think of and treat your daughter and yourself as if you have no memory of a past together, as if you are hosting for six weeks a beloved house guest that you adore and respect. Offer only what you experience in your heart as Joyful. Offer only what has no bargains or strings attached. Do not think and act as though you must please your guest; rather, just feel the truth that no demands are placed on you except by your own decisions. Imagine that Jesus is staying at your house for six weeks and asks only that you relax and be happy and peaceful. Jesus is not asking you for money, not asking you to pick up after him, and is not asking you to mind anyone's mind except your own. The form that the next six weeks will take is not yours to control, yet moment by moment you must take full responsibility for your own state of mind. You will be "taking the stranger in" and seeing that you cannot be the "keeper" of anyone "else" for there literally is no one "else" to care for. Watching your mind is your full time "job,” so to speak, and judging is not a part of your miracle worker "job description."
Whatever you seem to reject you have already judged against. If you perceive a behavior or trait that you dislike, you are attempting to project the thought to the world as if it is not in your mind. Yet ideas leave not their source, and you must recognize that you always judge yourself when you judge anybody. Judgment is not an ability that God gave to our Holy Mind. The mother and daughter roles were assigned by the ego, and it matters not if positive or negative attributes were added to the roles. Christ is what you really want to see Now, yet it will seem impossible to see with this Vision until you realize that Love makes no demands. If peace is your only goal Now you will think and feel and perceive from the Divine Integrity of the Love within. You will Flow easily. You will neither make demands nor accept demands that seem to be placed on you. Every moment is a clean, clear, fresh beginning, untarnished by the past—it is a new opportunity to consciously choose what you REALLY want. Every morning when you wake and rise, remember what your goal is. Remember the kind of experience you REALLY want and REALLY deserve. And remember that your mind is very powerful.
I am joined with you in this Purpose of forgiveness and complete awareness of this Purpose is inevitable.
Love always,
David